Sweet Melissa

I’m on vacation with my ex-boyfriend and his family, at their home in a tiny fishing village in Mexico. My ex’s dad got on really well with the locals, and they offered to take us on one of their 4am daily fishing outings. It ends up being myself, my ex, his dad, and several old Mexican men on this very small boat.

Now, we all know you’re not supposed to drink the water in Mexico. Unfortunately, a little bit of water, or whatever pathogens it contains, always finds a way into what you’re eating. I was experiencing what many call “traveler’s diarrhea.” I did not consider this before getting on the boat.

Just as we pull out of the harbor, I can feel that awful churning in the pit of my stomach, and by the time we’re out to sea, I’m shaking and I feel like I’m going to pass out. I finally lean over to my ex and tell him the situation, and that I somehow have to relieve myself. He leans over and tells his father, who translates to the fishermen. The fishermen laugh and point into the ocean.

I was in so much pain, I barely even thought twice about jumping into the middle of the ocean, pulling down my pants, and letting out a pretty terrifying bowel movement. And since it’s not solid, it all floats to the top. I can even feel fish nipping at my butt. Finally, since the boat was sitting too high on the water, I had to be pulled back up, with my pants and undergarments around my ankles.

No one was even laughing at me anymore, they just looked incredibly disgusted. The two hour ride home after that was possibly the most awkward two hours of my life.

TL;DR I had massive diarrhea and had to poop in the ocean in front of my boyfriend, his father, and a bunch of old Mexican men.